The first thing people tell you when you get married or have a child is to continue to date your spouse. Very seldom do they tell you to continue to date your self! As moms, we get so busy making sure everyone’s needs are met, it’s easy to lose sight of what our own needs are. We find pockets of time here and there to “sneak away” for some alone time, but once we walk in the door we go right back to mommy mode. It’s very seldom that we plan and actually take the time to spend a few days away from our homes, without our family. As a working mom, I can assure you that work travel does not count as “alone time!”
Karter is two and I’ve been away from him and hubby for pure pleasure, three times. What did that look like leading up to my departure? A lot of wife and mom guilt. A lot of preparation to ensure they had everything they needed to have a smooth weekend. And a lot of wondering if they were doing fine in my absence. Truth is, they were just fine. In fact, I was the one calling them, because they weren’t calling me!
Last weekend, I spent 3 days in Cancun, Mexico with 30 other moms. I was a featured speaker at Mom Redefined’s first (MOM)ents in Paradise. Some of the moms on the trip had never been on a trip without their family! Although our time in Mexico wasn’t very long, it was just enough to fill our cups. We laughed (non-stop), let our hair down, went to a NIGHTCLUB, shared stories and even some tears. It was just the pick me up I needed, to get my ass into gear. 2020 has just begun, but I’m already feeling overwhelmed by all of the things I want to accomplish, managing my career as a working mom, running a blog, running a non-profit business and going into business with my husband (more to come on that at a later time) and of course raising a healthy and kind little boy. Shit is exhausting!
I’m already looking forward to my next girls weekend! It’s not about escaping motherhood, it’s about taking a step back to recharge your battery, so that you can be the best mother and partner for your family. Taking these proactive measures to gather yourself and your thoughts before you reach burn out, is imperative. I can assure you, I am a much more patient mamma when I am recharged.
My biggest fear about becoming a mom was losing myself along the journey. That is really what birthed Millennial Mamma. I wanted to provide a platform for mother’s or soon to be mother’s to be encouraged to chase after their dreams, even with a family. To prioritize their personal needs just as much as they prioritize the needs of their family. I wear my MOM title proud, but it’s not what defines me. I still have my own identity outside of motherhood and marriage. It’s so easy to lose yourself and your identity once you become a mom. That’s why I encourage every mom to spend time away from your family to remember who you are as a woman. Those kids will grow old one day and leave the nest. Don’t wait for that time to come, to live your life on purpose. As moms, it is our responsibility to model for our children what it means to live a fulfilled life.